​​Sometimes I just have to laugh, both at myself and at the humor of God. 
 
I noticed that my prayer life has become one with growing distractions; that I have a difficult time quieting my mind.  I decided to pray about this.  After all – what did I have to lose as I was already thinking about my travel plans during the time I was supposed to be centering myself on God.  And somewhat to my surprise during my prayer, I had an urge to pick up the book I’ve been reading and read it.  At first I thought this was just another distraction and dismissed it; trying to shove that thought away.  But it kept coming back, like a song that keeps looping in my mind. The book is New Seeds of Contemplation written by the Catholic monk Thomas Merton.   Since I couldn’t shake the urge to open the book, I abandoned my paltry attempt at prayer and succumbed to the urge to read my book.  I opened the book and found my bookmark on the chapter entitled “Distractions”.  Really.  I laughed out loud and said something like “pretty funny, God”.  So I read this brief five-page chapter and it had this to say about distracted prayer.
 
Distractions are a part of contemplative prayer.   Accepting them is better than fighting them.  Treat them for what they are – a fleeting thought.  “…no matter how distracted you may be, pray to center your heart on God, who is present to you in spite of all that may be going on in your mind.  His presence does not depend on your thoughts of Him.  He is unfailingly there…the memory of His unfailing presence is the surest anchor for our minds and hearts in the storms of distractions…if God calls you to Him, then He implicitly promises all the grace you need to reach Him.  You must be blindly faithful to this promise.”
 
The irony of this entire encounter is both amusing and puzzling.  I have been practicing and reading about contemplative prayer, which is a kind of prayerful meditation.   I have been trying to get closer to God through prayer but have been feeling distracted.   And the sense of distraction was itself becoming a distraction.   The circuitous route to all of this is what is curious to me.  I now have to ask, was God telling me to pray about distractions, so that I would read the chapter on distractions at the exact time that it would make the deepest impression on me?    Does God really implant a question in us so that He can answer?  Does God work this way on people like me who need loud cues on when to listen up?  I don’t know.  I think I’ll pray about it.

 I believe that God lays before us a path we should follow.  But, it is up to us to listen deeply for his guidance and decide whether or not we follow his lead.  But sometimes, I think God gets a little insistent. That's why I don’t believe in coincidence.  This is especially true when things come to me and just elbow their way into my consciousness; forcing me to ponder why and how and why now.  I had one of those interesting confluences recently.
 
The first was from Parker Palmer, a Quaker teacher who publishes poems and insights on Facebook weekly.  This morning I read his post and he offered up a poem by Mary Oliver entitled “Wild Geese”.  One stanza from the poem stood out for me.
 
“Whoever you are…the world…calls to you like the wild geese…over and over announcing your place in the family of things.”
 
Pretty interesting, right?  But then, this evening I was reading the book “With Open Hands” written by Henri Nouwen, and this quote struck me
 
“Prayer is primarily a calling to find your own place in this world and to live in that place.”
 
Two different sources read at two different times of day but with one pretty clear message:  Each of us is being called.  We must find our place in the world and own it.  Easier said than done.  I get that.  But what would happen if we – just for this day – chose to live life big, in the glory that we are meant to be. 
 
So for tomorrow, I am going to act as if I understand deeply within my soul that I am a child of God who is fully loved and fully alive in God’s love.   After all, each of us is a unique expression of God’s love – one like no other in the entire universe and throughout all of time.  If we don’t act, if we don’t express this love, we will deprive the world of the expression of God that is uniquely us.  We will be as a seed that is planted but which did not germinate, blossom and give fruit.
 
Which leads me to want to close this short essay with another Mary Oliver poem; this one entitled Landscape.  At the end of this poem she offers…
 
“Every morning…the crows break off from the rest of the darkness and burst up into the sky – as though all night they had thought of what they would like their lives to be, and imagined their strong, thick wings.”